Seeking Him

Note to self

I completely forgot that I had wrote myself a note at back in early March. My note was delivered today, on my grandmother’s birthday…the note was written at a time where I could not let go of resentment for a past relationship. It’s amazing to see how far I’ve come and that the words I wrote, well – they’ve turned true over the course of these past few months. I’m content with where I am at this point in my life…and God – well, He’s not my co-pilot – I am His.

Dear FutureMe,

Have you truly let it all go? Have you really extended grace to the fullest extent possible…to allow God to come in and take care of your soul? To allow God to shine through you and to truly forgive? Besides, dear girl, what do you have to forgive? Oh…right. You need to forgive yourself – there were two people involved, not just the one. You haven’t sat down with yourself and asked yourself for forgiveness. But – the question is: do you know what you need to forgive yourself for?

Are you angry and bitter at the lightening quick speed in which you “fell?” Are you angy and bitter that you were ready to devote your life to this person who was unhealthy? What do you really need to ask for? It’s quite simple really.

You need to stop beating yourself up over the whole thing. Don’t allow guilt to wash over you – that’s just the devil trying to keep God out of it all. Instead – you admit your fault and you take blame for what is necessary. That, I know you have done. But now comes the difficult part. You tell yourself that you love you and you are good and strong…because, darling girl, if you weren’t good and strong – you would be in a really bad situation. And you’re not.

See. You can grow. You have grown. Now – smile…accept it…and love yourself in full. Thank God for the experience…for the teachable moment…and stop trying to protect your inner shell. Your inner shell needs no protection when God is your armor.

I love you…


1 thought on “Note to self”

  1. Ohhh…I like that idea of the website. I am going to go check it out. I need to write a whole bunch of notes to myself about a certain someone.
    Yay for WordPress blogs, but I shall enter my Xanga url.
    Te amo.

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