One of the challenges I recently had to face was to acknowledge the obstacles that may be hindering me from being 100% open to RevWell training. Aside from the usual giants – time, money, insecurity, doubt, etc. – I realized that the biggest giant IS, in fact, my team with BB.
Don’t get me wrong. I accept and recognize that BB has got me to this point in my life; GOOD has come from my venture. However, where I am, spiritually, is in complete conflict with my perception of the messages I am receiving. Some people see words of encouragement and a coach who is pouring herself into them; I see admonishment and chastisement for not “saving 3 lives” a month. Some people see the dreams of a “life by design”; I see little humility and much hubris, as bragging ensues that they are their “own boss”.
I have made many lifelong friends with members of my team. I wish them nothing but the best as they continue to build and grow…I just want them to respect my needs and this time of pause. I wish they could understand that this is something good, for me, and it could potentially be something good, for them. I don’t know the end result. I don’t. But I certainly don’t want to feel pressured into having to make a choice – because I believe these two pieces of me can fit together to create a beautiful whole.
And so…to cure this…as I fight the giant…I fast.
I fast from my team. I fast from the team page. I fast from the personally sponsored page. I fast from my teammates’ pages. All so I can put 100% of myself into “cleaning my heart.” For I, too, pray to God that does not give me anything that my character cannot sustain; may I shine as I was destined to shine.