Today, my students were asked to journal for seven minutes about a decision they regretted. In the silence, while fingers were furiously typing, pens scratching against paper, I ruminated over the prompt – turning over several decades of life in my mind, trying to figure out decisions I regretted. I came to the realization that of all my major life choices, things that the common person would assume I would regret, I don’t.
Having a son before I was 20 was life altering, for sure. Do I regret getting pregnant young? Not in the least. In fact, now, I revel in the freedom of having an adult child while my peers have kids barely in elementary school. Sure, it was a tough choice and I certainly entertained all options. But choosing to raise my child, without a father, surrounded by nothing but love and support from my family, is absolutely not a decision I regret. I got all of my wild oats sown during my freshman year of college – no need to drag out the recklessness – finished my education, had a career, went back and completed even more education, changed careers, bought and sold homes, found and married the man of my dreams, all while being a parent to my child. Like any parent – single, traditional, and all of the above – there have been challenges, but more importantly, there’s been an unbreakable bond forged by fire created in this messy life.
Permanently inking myself is not a regret. I don’t get tattoos to be cool or to show the world how “unconventional” I am – they’re for me. They’re messages for me, to me, abided by me. The honu symbolizes family; my son and I have matching tattoos, in the same place, in honor of one another.
Choices can be difficult and we’ve all had our own obstacles to navigate in life. But if there’s one thing I can say to be true, for me, as I look back at every step I’ve taken in these 41 years, it is that I have NO REGRETS. I appreciate the muck and mire, without it, I wouldn’t continually evolve to be more like Him and less like me. I am #boldinthesoul. @revelationwellness