That’s how I’ve been feeling…
Something happened last week. I received notice that I did not move forward in the interview process for a FT teaching position at the community college where I currently adjunct. What surprised me most, when I read the notice, was not the feeling of loss – rather it was an overwhelming feeling of relief. I felt as if a very large elephant finally got up from where it had taken up home on my chest, and paraded off into the abyss with the rest of the pink elephants on parade.
My husband keeps telling me he thinks I’m in mourning. But I’m not. I truly, honestly, emphatically AM NOT.
I am at peace. Content. Fulfilled.
I have opted to take the fall semester off from adjunct teaching so I can put 100% of myself into my new school. I am gearing up for a culture shock – coming from public school and heading into charter school; coming from having a prep period, to teaching straight through without one (yes, I’m being paid as a 6/5s teacher – don’t worry); coming from high school and teaching writing to teaching 8th graders with 8 full novels for the school year.
This decision, the decision to have only ONE job (like a normal human should), has brought me nothing but peace, contentment, and the ever-present feeling of being fulfilled.
Finally – FINALLY! – I am no longer running FROM my life. I am launching myself head-first into my beautifully, wonderfully-perfect-for-me, life.